Sometimes there is a strangeness and wistfulness to existence. I came across a knitting-needle pun on facebook – needle and the damage done. It made me think of that song. An old boyfriend – very brief relationship – used to play that on the guitar. It was the first time I heard it.
I went to look it up, discovering that Duran Duran had covered it, and listened to it (it is a nice cover), and felt all sad – the tragedy of addiction.
So, this made me want to look up this old boyfriend. He has a rather common name (shared with a well-known comedian), so not so easy to find on the net. We completely lost touch after the break-up (I never want to be friends with my old boyfriends).
And he died. Several years ago. There is an obituare page for him, with a picture probably from a few years after we broke up, and enough identifying information that I know it was the right person.
He is one part in the confluence of causes that propelled me towards a PhD.
We met as room-mates when he moved in to start graduate studies in physics at UCLA. At that time, I was just working, and had taken an occasional painting class and played music, and I still didn’t know what I wanted to do when I grew up.
I was seven years older than him. We used to plan for a Sushi feast every week. And, sometimes he treated me like a silly blonde. He did have a BS, and I was a drop-out.
But, it made me realize there was such a ting as graduate school. I knew about Doctorates, having been taught by some PhD’s in High School, but it was not something that had even come up on my radar.
We broke up. It hurt. Around the same time I started reading “Chaos”. He eventually moved out. I figured I could get a PhD and do differential equations myself, although not in physics, so I went back to summer school and night school, and eventually transferred to UCLA.
I think I met him as I was visiting campus in preparation for starting, but after that I never saw him there, even though the Physics department is right across the inverted fountain from the psychology department.
Turned out he left after his masters. Got a job in Hawaii. Still did research.
I have no idea how he died, because the memorial page doesn’t state it.
Here’s to you Dave (aka Wave) . Wish you had gotten more years.