Forever Tonight

Sometimes, perhaps an evening like tonight, still on the light side of the autumn equinox, after some wine, and the discovery of a new music service (tonight it is ”Wimp”, but there’s been the Spotify, and you-tube and Amazon – looking backwards) I get hit by nostalgia about music, mostly from the late 70’s, trying to find them again.

Remembering evenings like this, or later in fall, listening to my mono-transistor – with cassette player, mind you, so not entirely deprived – to the music programs all of us in our late teens early 20’s adored. Eldorado, or Rock Gift, with a program leader with a gift for stories that made my budding novelist heart shrink and shrivel in inadequacy at producing such poetry weekly. I was poised to quickly hit record should an interesting song start for my mixed tapes. There I was introduced to the Residents, my weird–cred band. To Journey, who I later, once moved to the US, grew to loathe as a cheap pastiche of cheap pastiches of that eras metal.

And Jan Hammer, pre Miami-vice. Forever tonight. Well, the album was called Hammer, and contained that song. It has some chord progressions in it that so makes me think baroque. I didn’t catch the first few bars, but knew quickly I wanted it. I bought it. The album. Vinyl of course. Went over to my friend Zara (she had a proper record player) and listened to it. And, of course, did that eras pirating by recording it on a c-90. Most of the album is forgettable, but it has another song, “Nowhere to go” which caught me too.

The album, the vinyl one, is gone, lost in a temporary storage mishap, where my husband asked a friend to keep them, as he cleared out our LA house (I was already in the Midwest). He tried to retrieve them later, but the friend had vanished and so were the albums, who I vaguely were thinking were gaining a bit of value, as the CD revolution had all but wiped them out. (I actually consented to throw in my stereo with the sale of our house, as I saw no reason to keep that bulky thing). I don’t lose theings, so I had to fight the feeling of loss over those albums for years. Now, reconciled with the fact that they are gone. Or, it could be that my brother has it and misplaced it. Only part of my record collection came with me to LA. But, it is lost.

I had it on tape still, though. I had painted a tape-cover for it. That was something me and my friends were doing way back when I lived in a student corridor, and we were all kinda studying, kinda not, kinda inbetween and waiting, but we spent the evenings drinking tea, listening to music, and illustrating covers for our pirated c-90 collections. I painted an auto-bahn. The crest of it. Grey and black, and green on the side. Traveling. The tape is in storage. Once again! But, now a properly paid for one in Indiana. All our books are there too. And my first violin. One of these days I hope for a house large enough to bring it on over.

I came back to this album over and over. Really just those two songs, “forever tonight” and “nowhere to go”. I looked it up every once in a while on Amazon. I regret I didn’t buy it this time when I found it, and it was reasonably priced. Of course, I was a grad student, and never flush. A few years later, the price of it was outrageous. More than my nostalgia is worth.

I can find “forever tonight” on the streaming services these days. Without the lyrics. Not that they are stellar.. I just would like to have my nostalgic version. Trying to find “nowhere to go” is impossible.


About asehelene

... because if I'm in a room with a second person, I want to be reasonably sure I'm the crazier one.
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